The End Of The World On The 19th

21.12.12 that is supposedly the date when all these shit come to an end. Something about the Mayans and their predictions cause they were somehow convinced that when their calender or something came to an end, that's when the world will cease to exist as well. I'm not sure if i've gotten the facts right, but i'm pretty sure it's revolving around that perimeter. Anyways, I have decided to give a hopefully quick update to explain why the end of the world for me was on the 19th this month. The result for my public exam have been revealed, and i'm less than joyful about it. Way, way, way less. It's not entirely because i'm disappointed about how i performed, but rather because i've become this big disappointment to my family, especially my grandma, who according to reliable sources (my mom), had high hopes and expectations for me. So, i turned out to be just another balloon, cause y'know how my family put their efforts and blablafish into trying to make me a better person so i picture that as them blowing air into a balloon, and i'm that balloon. The more they blow, the bigger i get, and then just when they thought i've become a very large balloon, something they can be proud of, i burst into nothingness. So much for their efforts. You feel me?

Yeah i've noticed that i suck with metaphors but that never stopped me from using it. Get it now? I'm just a disappointment to them. They might not show or say anything, but it's not like i need them to to understand y'know. It's written all over their faces, 'DISAPPOINTMENT' but oh who the hell could blame them. Wanna blame someone? Blame me. Blame the ungrateful sloth of a daughter who didn't try her best despite everything that her family had to go through in order for her to have a shot at success. BAHHH.

See, even though the world will most probably end on the 21st, which is like this coming..Friday (tomorrow), MY WORLD ended two days ago from that day. So, if God decides to let the human race face the wrath of mother nature's revenge, all i can say is 'come at me, brotha'. So what if the world ends? Mine did. Bigggg deal. All i need to do is to get reborn again, which is exactly what i'm hoping for. Anyhoo, what i'm trying to put into logical words is that, if the world really comes to an end, life will find a way (quote from the dino movie Jurassic Park). Plus, even if it doesn't, it's not like you'd be here to see all that happen, no, you'll be long dead and gone because in order for a new world to resurface, the old one will have to get the hell out. Landlord probably doesn't like us very much huh. Yeah okay, so this is pretty much it for today. If the world does end, i have three words for every living soul on the planet.

John.

Fucking.

Meyer.

Friends With Benefit anybody? No? You guys suck.

Peace.

Freakin' Mistakes

  Never before have i realized how much mistakes i've been making lately, grammatically speaking. It kills me to say that my English standard has dropped a lot, and who do i have to thank for that? Not my English teacher at school, of course. No, she's just...awesome and totally teacher-of-the-year material. Yeah, totally. So, if you happen to spot any grammar or vocab errors in any of my updates, point them out if you like because reading my blog has been a total sore-eye for me. Everywhere my pupils go, they're always there, the errors. Ugh just get away from me.

  Hmm, so PMR's over. Yep, should've posted something about it like a month ago, but this holiday's pretty packed for me. So many k-dramas, so little time. Don't get me wrong, i'm still not a fan of all that korean BS but damn, they really know how to shoot their dramas. So yes, i'm hooked on it like a Cocaine, but i didn't used to though, just fyi. I'm a hugeeee fan of Park Shin Hye, a korean actress. She's kind of like my latest lezbo celeb crush? Anyways, it's been about a month since pmr, and yes, i've had tons of fun during my post-pmr period, but all that's gonna end soon.

  Mehhh, i'm just really bored right now. I'm supposed to be asleep already, cause it's gonna a full day for me tomorrow but i. just. can't. There are so many other things to do other than sleep. I like the night, it's very inspirational and calming. Okay, so that's about it. I have not touched my guitar in a long while and weird enough, my fingers have not been itching like they should. No complaints whatsoever. Is this me growing weary of it? I sincerely hope not. Btw, i just got back from camp three days ago and i'm leaving for another one the day after tomorrow. Talk about a hectic schedule. Where's my breathing time? Peace.

Still In PMR Process

  It hasn't ended yet, this exam of mine. The week didn't exactly past as fast as i hoped it would. Instead, it pretty much just crawled. Anyways, most of my exam papers are over and done with but i've still got KHB, Maths and Chinese to handle next week. Three subs which i am the least confident with. I know, i know, maths should be easy, like swimming in the kids' pool, but noooooo, not to me. I used to be okay with it, and then the numbers hooked up with them alphabets and before you know it, they got themselves tons of complicated-ass babies of number and letters mixed together. Oh, it's a bitch to do.

  And then there's KHB. It sounds so easy to everyone else, but it's subject that i'm the least fond of. I guess the reason behind my hatred towards it is because i never really paid much attention to it. I just assumed it was hard and never tried to improve my KH skills and knowledge. Well, i saw no point it in it anyways. Hate that sub. I HATE THAT SUB. But of course, if i had to choose between Chinese and that, i'd choose THAT over Chinese. Yeah, all in a heartbeat. It's not that i hate Chinese (hello, Chinese descendant here so can't really hate the thing), but it gets really challenging to learn and all. Yea, i don't like Chinese very much either.

  But oh god, i can't say i'm going bezerk over next week's paper, but i'm not exactly calm either. I totally wasted my weekend doing...everything unrelated to studying. I acted like the whole damn examination was already over. Okay, i hope that i'd get the mood and determination to study tomorrow, in hopes that i don't B any of the subs on Monday. Oh God, i really need the A's, man. A'ight, i'm turning in. Peace. AND STUDY VAL STUDY YOUR ASS OFF TOMORROW BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING YOU'LL REGRET.

7 Days And Counting

SO, it's finally here, the both long awaited and dreaded examination of the year. It's a week away and here i am, hooked on the internet as usual. Don't get me wrong, i really wish i could actually study like everyone else, but i can't. I'm freaked out, but i don't know what i should do. I can't concentrate, i can't think, i can't really study study, y'know? Anyways, i'm on here to just let out some steam. I feel the pressure and i think i'll melt any second now. I guess i'm typing all this so i'd be able to look back the week after next, when the exam's well in the past, and see how was i feeling and all that. And i'm feeling super stressed out, even though i don't do a lot of studying. Oh, i really hope that i'd be able to do well in the exam, and that i'd actually have the determination to study for it.

Now, to ignore the pressure clawing at my back, i shall talk about what i've been doing for the past..week? Okay, maybe i won't. I'm just trying to find a way to relax here. And ranting do relax me. That's mainly the reason why i'm a chatterbox and can never really shut up for long. SO, We Are The In Crowd. That's currently the band i'm listening to. They're a pop/punk rock band with two vocalists. Taking the lead is an amazing female singer with a voice to die for, Taylor Jardine, and the second vocalist is the lead guitarist, Jordan Eckes. They harmonize really well together and the chemistry, wow! Although i don't think i'm able to compare their songs to Mayday Parade or Daughtry, for that matter, but they're pretty dope. In fact, they actually give out the All Time Low vibe, though more of a female version of the band, but nevertheless great. They're fun to listen to, their lyrics are funny at times and i like how the band is. There it is, another band added to my band list. Now i've got,

1. Simple Plan
2. Mayday Parade
3. All Time Low
4. Daughtry
5. WE ARE THE IN CROWD

A round of applause for WATIC! WHEEEEEE. And that's about it. Peace to whoever reading this, which is probably no one. God, maybe .

Writing Music Again. FAILING

As you can see from the title, yes, i've been trying to tap into that 'poetic' side of me to write some lyrics again. And i failed. Aww, don't worry, i'm so used to failure in that that it's nothing to me anymore. I mean every time i try, i fail, not epic-ally though. I don't understand the term 'epic fail' that seems to be everywhere right now. I get it when people sometimes have an epic failure when they're trying to do something, but people nowadays use 'epic fail' to describe everything. The other day, my friend threw a book at me and told me to catch it, but i didn't because it caught me by surprise and i wasn't ready. And there was this friend of mine who saw everything and said 'EPIC FAIL MAN'. And i was thinking, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU MEAN BY EPIC FAIL? What's so epic about me not being able to catch a book that was thrown my way? Our actions weren't funny, so why the hell is it an epic failure? Argh.

Oh as usual, i go off topic. But anyways, YEAH I STILL CAN'T MAKE MUSIC. OR NICE, POETIC PHRASES. They say we need to be inspired or sometimes we just get it, y'know. Sadly, i don't have whatever that needs to be gotten. Ehhh what am i typing here? I have no idea, really. And just so you know, lyrics-writing is just for fun, hahaha and i shouldn't be thinking of music at this time of the year 'cause my big exam's almost here and i haven't really studied much yet. Got tonnes to cover. And hopefully, i get them all done with some time to spare. Wish me luck, though i'm probably the only one reading this. Okay. Peace

MY BANDSSSS

You'll need to read my previous post to get what i'm actually saying here. SOOO, basically Simple Plan, Mayday Parade, Daughtry and All Time Low are my faborite bands that i love listening to, although sometimes it depends solely on my ever-changing mood. They're all rock bands, so yeah think you get the picture, and all of them taught me at least one thing about life.

Simple Plan taught me that i'm not all that, and that if i try hard enough, i can be what i want to be despite how challenging, excuse the language, bitchy, life can be sometimes and what people might think or say about me.

Mayday Parade taught me how to be stay strong, act a little romantic and sweet to the person i love. And also, to cherish my friends deeply.

Daughtry taught me that the reason i'm able to be the person that i am today is because of the love, support from my family and to never forget about my roots, where i came from, to forever on to those memorable times in the past.

All Time Low taught me how to hang loose, to treat things not-too-seriously so that i don't miss out on the fun in things and to understand that there's always a positive side to everything.

WHEEEE, I LOVE MY REASONS FOR LOVING THESE GREAT BANDS. Peace

My Music Is My Life

Let's talk about music, shall we? Music, is basically the second most important thing in life for me, coming right behind food. It's important to me because it helps me understand things better in life and know what other people may be going through as you know, music is another way of expressing the emotions that are too hard to be shown through mere talking. I wish i could write songs and shit to express how i feel, but NOOO, i wasn't bestowed with the song-writing talent. So what do i do? I listen to other people's music that i may or may not be able to relate to. My fav bands are Simple Plan, Mayday Parade, Daughtry and All Time Low, but mostly it's just SP and MP.

Simple Plan is a Canadian punk-rock band. Although i must say, their latest songs aren't very punky no more, but i still dig them nevertheless. I don't think i really like punk but i fell deeply for their lyrics. I find them very straightforward and easy to relate to because their older albums are mostly about teen angst. Their first few albums touched on how miserable life can be for some teens and that some of us are trying our best to get through it and to show others that we are able to do it. I was able to relate my own life to their songs, and that was basically the main reason why SP has always been my favorite band since i heard one of their songs on the radio, whether i realized it or not. SP's latest album Get Your Heart On! is a more mature and evolved album in my opinion as they started to do more songs about love and all, but wherever they're headed, i'll always believe in them and their music.

Mayday Parade is actually a new band to me. I didn't know about them until recently, unlike SP which i've started listening to ever since my younger days, but wow, Mayday have surprised me. I'm the type who judge things, especially music easily during my first time of listening to a new song. So when i was introduced to Three Cheers For Five Years by Mayday Parade, i wasn't very stoked about the song. I listened to it, didn't quite like it, and so i left it hanging there. A couple of weeks later, i come back and re-listened to the song and i found that it wasn't as bad as i thought i was during the first time. I begun checking out more of MP's music and discovered a new band to fawn over. They're a rock band which revolve their music around the struggles to survive in life, love for friends and of course, lovers. Also, their lyrics are just...AWESOME. They're true, strong, sweet, romantic, sad and can be quite sarcastic when intended. The lead singer, Derek Sanders, have a mesmerizing voice that suits both acoustic and rock sound which i love. Together with the rest of the band, they make great music to my ears.

The American rock band from North-Carolina, Daughtry, gives out a very rock-ish and sometimes country-ish sound in the music that they make. Their lyrics too are powerful and touching. The lead singer, Chris Daughtry, writes lyrics that almost always relates to his love for his family and hometown. It's always something about going home and love in family. Ahhhh, so goddamn meaningful. Most of my friends don't really find Daughtry a good band but whatever, it's my music anyways. I don't find the need to share if people don't appreciate it the way i do, but thank God, my brother doesn't find them as annoying as my friends do. He actually likes them as much as i do and i bet it's because of the super  hard-rock-ish sound that they've got in them. Anyways, Daughtry taught me to never forget about my hometown and family should always comes first. Daughtry's music is where meaningful is.

And then there's All Time Low. Hahaha, i look at them as my happy band because of the funny and sarcastic lyrics that they have. In my opinion, ATL is the only band i've known so far that is able to come out with what i'd like to call 'smart lyrics'. They're sarcastic, funny as hell and they make sense too! SUPER COMBO RIGHT THERE. They're a band that showed me not to take things too seriously and it's cool to have fun with things. I mean, just look at the way their lyrics are. Hahaha, they are 'DA BOMB' and their music amuses me a lot. A LOT. I just love the way their sarcastic lyrics are, but they can be serious when they want to be too. Sometimes, they have songs with lyrics so deep that i need to occasionally consult Google or my friends to help me try to decipher it and most of the time after i get what they're saying, i understand the true meaning of 'touched to the core'. The lyrics are so strong, so deep...GENIUS! A band with a mixture of humor and...depth? LOL they just really know how to make great music.

PEACE

Miss Negative Nancy

Sigh, i really don't know what to say about myself right now. I don't know why, but i've caught the 'pessimistic bug' over the past two years. I didn't used to be like this, i was cheerful, well, more cheerful than the person that i am now. I was that i-couldn't-care-less kid a few years back, and i wonder to myself sometimes, where did that part of me gone to? Some say that it's because i'm FINALLY growing up, but i don't think growing up consists of having a negative look about everything because that's exactly how i am! Everyday, i have people constantly reminding me how enormous a negative Nancy i am. It bugs me, knowing that i'm this pathetic pessimistic kid in others' eyes. Yes, i know, one shouldn't have to care so much about other people's opinion, but let's be realistic here, who wouldn't? At one point in life, we'll hesitate about what we're gonna do because our mind gets worried about what people might think of it.

Hahaha, i'm not gonna lie, i've always been this insecure little gal who gives too much of a damn about what people think of me and my actions. Oh God, i sound so pathetic. I think i might be feeling sympathy for myself. Okay, so let's just take this as a one-update-pity-party yea?

Damn, my life, it's pretty messed up huh? Everything's all over the place. Nothing's on its right track. And i don't have the slightest idea on how to put them things back to where they should be. Well, management has never been my field of expertise, or my mother's for the matter LOL. Anyways, i don't think i should be complaining about my life because, there really is nothing much to yap about. I'm just being really...idk. I mean, things could've been worse, right? One thing i've learnt from my fifteen years of life is whenever i feel like complaining about really sensitive subs, i let my mind go on automatic mode and think of one thing and one thing only, THINGS COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE. I guess it's my way to make me feel a tiny bit better. So, i think i've discovered the meaningful phrases in my life. First, THINGS COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE. Second, I KNOW I'M GOOD AT SOMETHING, I JUST HAVEN'T FOUND IT YET. 

Peace.

Holidayssss, not really

Today is officially the first day of my mid-year holidays, or what i call 'summer holidays' to feel more awesome. You'd think that the first day of holidays are the most enjoyable, crazy and fun day of all times, but not to me. I think it's because i based mine on today of all first day of holidays that i had. So what i did the whole day was, i woke up at 9.30 a.m, ate breakfast, went to stare at the air for about an hour, i suppose, then went over to my phone, turned on my crazy/obsessive/stalker mode and stalked my LLCC - Latest Lezbo Celeb Crush which is currently the super adorable and talented, 15 year old Chloe Grace Moretz. Yeah, i know, we're of the same age. And yeah sure, go freak yourself out about me kinda-obsessing over a teenage gal. I think everyone has that phase where they go lunatic about some celeb guy or girl. It's normal. Right, super normal. I'm pretty sure everyone does it.

Back to my very interesting first day of holidays, after stalking my LLCC, i had my lunch and then went to tuition. When tuition ended, i hopped into my grandma's vehicle and went home. I bathed and got ready for my next tuition. After two and a half hour of learning about how Charles Vyner Brooke gave away my state to the Britts like it was some no-biggie gift or something, i arrived home only to find my brother not at his Friday-night spot, the computer room. So he was at the cineplex watching the movie that i've only been dying to watch, Dark Shadows starring Johnny Depp and of course, my dear Chloe M while I was decomposing in my history tuition. Life is so very fair.

And after screaming at my brother for watching it without me for about half an hour, i finally gave that up and came to sit in front of my laptop. Turned the darn thing on and came to my very depressing blog. Who else reads it but me? Oh wells, i've always enjoyed reading and re-re-re-re-reading my entries over and over again till my eyes start to water. I only stop because i didn't want them to start oozing out blood. Yeah, i'm like super phobic about blood, but it's only MY blood that i get freaked out by. I got a bad nose-bleed once and after that horrible experience, i only breathed through my mouth until i was told that over-breathing is not the cause of bad nose-bleeds. And, there is no such thing as over-breathing, well there is, it's called 'Hyperventilation'. Okay so yeah. I have LLCC's and i only hate my blood. Peace

Hmm, just checking in?

    So, my exam's starting in two week's time and guess what? I haven't started much yet. I should be rushing my ass off right now, but i really wish i could. REALLY. For the past week, nothing really happened much. Oh, there is actually something worth posting about. Last week, i was informed that members of St. John A. from my school will be having our 'raking interview' on Saturday, which is actually yesterday. Everyone was so excited, including me of course. I mean, who wouldn't be? It's something like a promotion. There's Lan Koperal, Koperal and Sarjan. I typed it out in BM because, well, that's what it's called over here. But i know it's not what they call in other places. Due to the lack of active Form 4 members this year to fill the Committee board of SJA, they pulled in most of the active Form 3s to help out. And when i said 'most', i meant it. We were given posts in the committee board and blablablalba...

   If you're wondering what post am i holding, forget about it 'cause i won't be telling. Unless you already know then no need. LOL. Anyways, so most of the form 3s are going for the rank of Lans Koperal, but with the exception of a few others. SPECIAL OTHERS jkjkjk. I think, about five of us were chosen to go for koperal? Hmm, doesn't really matter anyways. To me, the ranks are just for show. Kay, not to be a show-off or anything, then again, i don't really care what people think anymore since the world is coming to an end soon in the near future, um, as i was saying, not to be complete show-off, but i was one of the five to go for koperal at the age of 15. YEAH YEAH GO SCRAEM VAL HAOLIAN LAH. My life is hopefully no way affected, i hope. So, joining me was Kim, Jia Hao, Wayne, Michelle and who was the other one...? Chotto-mate, that's all LOL. We were like kinda shocked and stuff. Plus, i think it's rather unfair to y'know have this ranking thing like this and ,dfnslnflafa;fk;, i know i'm mumbling.

  On the night of Friday, we went for an overnight stay at the HQ. What the hell. i just re-read what i typed, 'on the night of friday' BAHAHA. Okay, so, overnight, RIGHT. Most of us went because we wanted to be fully prepared for the next day's interview while SOME of us went just to have a sleepover with friends. SOME OF US(pssst, this guy over here!). We had a discussion about the interview that night that lasted till like 1 in the morning...? Not sure 'bout the time but it was sometime after midnight, I THINK. We were all tired, well, i don't know about the others but i was donkey-ass beat. And as everyone knows, i'm weak and blablabla so i couldn't really y'know stand to be all energetic that late at night. I was moping around, dragging my feet with me wherever i went. I looked pretty wasted if others hadn't known better.

  When they gave us the greenlight to hit the hays, or sleeping bags, i was thanking the God up above. When i laid down in my giant caccoon, or however it's spelled, i couldn't sleep. It was soft, warm and comfy but damn, it wasn't my time to lose consciousness just yet. I ended up projecting images of what may possibly be happening in the interview in my head with my eyes closed. Yeah, i do that a lot, especially when sleep is out of reach. But sleep finally opened a door for me at about 2 a.m. I slept but i woke up several times throughout the night, morning...nightning.

  Moving on, i was the first to awaken in my room. It was around 5am when my eyelids flustered open. I laid down for another half an hour before getting up to my feet and to the washroom to clean my teeth and face. After brushing, i woke the others up, i think. We went for breakfast at 6...? We came back, switched clothing, tidied ourselves up for the interview and arrival of our interviewer. We had our black and white uniforms, the females had the head gear which pretty much resembles what nurses wear on their heads, and guys had their forest cap. Blablabla, the arrival happened. Mosquitoes were everywhere, feeding off our blood. The interview started at about 9 and ended at 1 something. Maybe the longest hours of my life. I won't go into details of the interview because wow, just look at this update. It looks like an entire essay that we write in school. God, i needa shut up.

  What to do. I have too much to say. I'm a man...woman...girl.. of many words. Um so PEACE. Oh, everyone passed the interview and got their ranks. HOORAH :D

Respecting Day

Today's a school-free day today for students who live in my part of the country. It's also a day where we descendants pay our ancestors' grave to pay our respects. Many people went a few days earlier already, so today is pretty much just a holiday.

Right, to the important issue at hand! The Hunger Games finally premiered a week ago. I know, i know, i'm a little too late to be talking about it, but i don't care. It's not my fault that i have a hog of a brother. Anyways, it premiered on a Friday, but because i had school and it was a weekday, my grandma a 'NO'. And so, i waited till the next day, but on Saturday, i had my school activities. I didn't get home till like five in the evening. Plus, i had some sorta big family dinner thing that night, so THG had to be delayed again. God, it was the longest night of my life. Everyone was at the Cineplex watching it, and here i was at home, sitting at the dining table among my family members, being all enthusiastic and stuff. I was on zombie-mode though. My body was there, but my soul and mind was somewhere close to THG.

And for those who have no idea what The Hunger Games is, kansfkjnjdfnknzskgnknasfnaknfaskfnanfdsjni. Kidding. THG is a film adaption of a book by Suzanne Collins of the same name. It's a sci-fi, action and drama film. It's mainly about the Hunger Games, which is an annual event held where children between the ages of 12 and 18 from 12 different districts are chosen to participate in through something like a lottery called 'The Reaping'. The chosen ones are thrown into an arena controlled by the Capital and are forced to battle it out with one another in order to survive and be crowned as the only survivor and victor of the Hunger Games.

After i finished my dinner, my mom looked to me and said, 'Val, why don't you bring your brother to the cineplex tomorrow and go watch that what, hungry games movie?' FINALLY.

I didn't give her 'hungry games' statement much thought as i was over the moon. I AM WATCHING THE HUNGER GAMES TOMORROW. MUHAHAHA was all i thought about that night. I couldn't sit still, i couldn't watch tv, i couldn't sleep. I was totally hyped up. When Sunday afternoon arrived, my mom dropped me and my bro off at the mall which is where the cineplex is and right after the attendant at the counter handed me the tickets, i couldn't stop staring at that wonderful piece of paper. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. I kept on flipping it in my hand.

And when the moment the movie started playing, LOL i shut away the rest of the world and focused only at the enormous white screen sitting in front of me. We were so lucky as we got the best seats in the house, right at the center of the theater. WOOHOOOOOO. Before the movie premiered, i re-read the book again and again to make sure i remember the details from it.

Hmm, Josh Hutcherson as Peeta? Great. Liam Hemsworth as Gale? Not-so-great. I mean, he wasn't exactly the Gale i had pictured in my mind while reading the book. He's good-looking, yes, but just not my 'Gale'. And of course, Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss. Best freakin' decision ever made. She was perfect for the role. The writer of the book, Suzanne Collins, had in mind for the role of Katniss Everdeen is a girl with a more mature look while still being able to perfectly fit into the profile of a sixteen year old and Jennifer Lawrence was the best candidate for the role! And i think that she looks better as a brunette than a blonde, just saying. Elizabeth Banks as Effie, hahaha that was a rather funny choice, but nevertheless great, though i couldn't really recognize Elizabeth Banks from all that make-up she had on her. Last but not least, Woody Harrelson as Haymitch. Besides the casting of jennifer Lawrence, this was also the perfect selection for the role of Haymitch.

Yawn, i'm beat. Better go take a nap now. Goodnight :)

'And may the odds be ever in your favor' - The Hunger Games

First Ringkas Exam and SOME OTHER ISSUES

Gosh, i did so bad that i don't even wanna talk about it. I am nothing but a weakling. I always fall sick at the most critical times of my life. ALWAYS. During competitions, exams..i'm always there with a pale face and clammy skin. Stupid immune system. White blood cells, Y U NO DO YOUR JOB PROPERLY?! I don't wanna go into details about how i performed in my exam, it's just heartbreaking. Well, it's over now anyways. I still have more to come in the very near future. There's really no time left for me to be a kid anymore, i just hope that i can mature quickly enough before the BIG test comes knocking down my door. I need to work harder, i have to do what i can to do better or else.

No matter what i have to go through with life, never once did i say i hate life. 'Hate' is a very big and powerful word to use and i don't think i'm capable of using it. There are other people in the world who are suffering more than anyone could imagine and they don't hate life. Those who are handicapped, not all of them go around hoping that they'd get hit by a truck or get struck by lighting. In fact, it's the other way around. They actually love and cherish each moment of their life though they have every reason to hate it, but they just don't. And here, i keep hearing people with lives that only the poor and the suffering could only dream of, complain about how bad, suckish, miserable and all those pessimistic words their life is, when the truth is their life is what a lot of people would die for. DON'T THEY UNDERSTAND THAT NOT EVERYONE IS AS LUCKY AS THEY ARE?

Will it kill them to shut up and just cherish what they have? There isn't a thing that they do have and yet, it doesn't seem to be enough for them. Greedy, ungrateful bastards. They tell everyone that 'i hate life. i wish i could die. i wish i was never even born' when there's nothing wrong with the life that they lead. And when others try to tell them that there are others who are in worse situations than they are, they bitch up and scream at people's faces, 'YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO GO THROUGH. YOU HAVE EVERYTHING SO YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY SHIT.'

Well, guess what, hon? I don't have everything. And so do you, but at least you have something. People out there, they don't have anything at all. What they crave for is love, warmth and a normal life, while you have a family that loves you and will always be there for you, and yet what do you say? You hate them. You wish your parents were dead? Why don't you, idiot, take a good look at life from a different angle? Do you think you're more miserable than those who are dying of hunger because they can't afford to buy food while you get it for free because you have people to support you?

Do yourself a favor, slap you face till you wake up and smell the roses, or your blood. You'll see how wrong you were for being so ungrateful and childish. GROW UP. Nothing revolves around you. You can't always get what you want, but you get what you need. And trust me, that's more than enough already. Not everyone is as lucky as you are. You might pretend and lie that you have problems in life that others wouldn't understand in front of people just so you can say you hate life and wanna die, but you can't lie to yourself and to Him. He knows all that you do and you too.

So, stop hating life when there's nothing to hate. You'll end up dead for the wrong reasons and you'll regret it. DEFINITELY REGRET.

SO JUST SHUT UP AND ENJOY LIFE WHILE YOU CAN HOKAY.

Tiring Day

Have i mentioned how much i despise Mondays? I know, i know. Who likes Mondays? Especially Monday mornings. Oh, everyone hates them. Today wasn't exactly the worst Monday i had, but it was really tiring. I go to school at 6.30 in the morning, having to sit through period after period of class and then stay back at school even after our normal school time ended because there was that sports thing-a-ding that the Government came up with. So, everyone had to stay at least an extra one hour at school playing some sport. I myself was in the table tennis category.

I like ping pong. Hahaha. I played a little of it during primary school. It played quite a big role in my childhood and i've always enjoyed the sport. It's not exactly easy as ABC, but it's fun. After playing some ping pong, i left school in my grandma's car and went to my ex-primary school to pick up my brother who was also having his own activities at school.

And then i finally reach home dog-beat. I was so tired and i still have tuition tonight! There was no escaping for tuition, sadly. I hope i don't fall in and out of sleep tonight at tuition or else nothing would go inside my head, but i'm so sleepy! If i could sleep now, i would, but i don't really sleep in the afternoon. Wait, it's nor because i don't want to, but i can't. YAWN. Ooh, so tired. Why do i have tuition tonight? WHAIII?!

Chinese New Year : The Dragon Year

Today's the second day of Chinese New Year, which is the Water Dragon year this year. I have no idea about the water dragon, but what i do know is that it's that time of the year again for kids to go around town visiting family and friends while receiving a little red packet known as 'ang pow' among the Chinese. I didn't really go out much this year as most of my relatives aren't here and those who are, they're either gone or beyond contacting. So, i guess i'm spending my Chinese New Year at home with my family.

When people come for a visit at my house, i welcome them with open arms. Why? Because they've got what every kid wants during this time of the year, RED PACKETS! But whatever the amount is in the red packets, it's the thought that counts. Wish i had more to talk about CNY, but unfortunately there's nothing much to say. There ain't much activities happening for me this year. Plus, CNY feels weird this year. My mom said that it was because i was being a Negative Nancy again and that my pessimistic nature is making me think that CNY would be boring this year.

IDK. It just feels kinda off, y'know? Um, well, yeap. That's it then for today's update on my very boring life. Who the hell even reads this anyways? LOL

Decisions, decisions

I was suppose to submit this in on Saturday but I got carried away with sleep. So, decisions. I've got a big one in my hands right now. Have you ever needed to choose between doing something you love and something you have to do no matter what? I'd like to call it decision of one's 'heart and duty'.

If yes, then it must've sucked or you. It's no doubt that I'm in that current situation. As most of you know, I'm having the 'big test' year. PMR. I should be studying my ass off and ignoring other things that have nothing to do with studies or might jeopardize it. Choosing studies is the right option.

What if I can't?

I'm an active member of my school's uniform body. Well actually, I'm now one of the cadet committees. Sec 3 students aren't supposed to though, cuz it's an important year to focus only on our studies, but because of a reason that I'm really lazy to tell, we have to. Tough luck.

My family have been pressuring me about my studies again. They repeat themselves over and over again 'how important this year is and I better focus on my studies and nothing else!' In other words, they just want me to choose, to make a decision. Don't they know I'm a major dilemma freak?! I'm terrible in decisions and now they're throwing this huge one right at me! How am I gonna settle for a decision? As they say, 'the big decisions in life are never easy'. Boy, are they ever so precise!

After debating and thinking it over for a long period of time, I came to the best answer that I could find, BALANCE. I promised myself to try and balance out everything, between my studies and uniform body. Of course studies are the more essential one here, but how can one let go of something one's so passionate about? Do we have to sacrifice in order to succeed?

Sadly, yes. But I'm not going to though. I would sacrifice my free time on studying and attempting on improving my grades, but if you're telling me to quit doing something that's keeping me a part of something I love, forget it. If I can balance it out, y'know do both at once and still succeed, I will not hesitate to try.

But if it turns out that I can't, I'll know when to pull the plug. Studies come first, no matter how much pain in the ass it is. Truth is, I'm not sure if I'm capable on balancing. I have super poor time management and whatever that has anything to do with managing.

I'll try though. Like till I die or something. I couldn't care less if my friends or even my own family doubt me, as long as my faith in me hasn't been shaken up, I'll keep trying, reaching beyond my own limits. I just hope that my family's gonna support me or try to understand at least. I have no intention on looking back to this year in the future and regretting I lived the year of 2012. No, I wouldn't want that. I hate taking things for granted, I hate having to say 'I shouldn't have done that', I hate having to wish that I should've done things differently.

And I do not want to get stuck in the past. So God, I pray for your guidance and forgiveness. Let this year be a little less rougher than it should be.

P.S a tragedy has stricken in my hometown. Some parts of my town have been hit by a flash flood due to the continual of raining and on the 6th of January, I think, two lives were lost. The lives of a 19 year old female student and a hardworking, male employee of a gas station were taken during the flood. The kind hearted, yet ill-fated employee who passed on attempting to save another life, the life of the poor girl who accidentally slipped and fell into into a drain which was filled with water. The strong current swept them away, killing both of them. Please join me and say a silent prayer to these poor souls. May they rest in peace.

Got My Phone Back!

Yes, i got my phone back! After so many weeks without the company of my dear phone, i've finally managed to revive it once again though it is now somewhat handicapped. On the night of 8th December 2011, i changed my phone's passcode out of anger. It was the night before i went away for a four-day camp.

When i returned four days later, which was on the 11th, i was shocked when i realized that i've forgotten my passcode. I mentally tortured myself as i could not gain access my phone without typing in the four-digit passcode. For days i tried to recollect the passcode number, but to no avail. I had this paper which was filled with God-knows-how-many four digit passcodes, but non of them worked. So, i tried manually removing the passcode using a program which can read my phone like a pen-drive, but failed. It was then i realized that i had to bring it into the phone shop to fix it, but that could only lead to one thing that i've been trying to avoid all along...LOSING ALL MY APPS.

You see, my phone's full with jailbroken apps, and if i restore it, not only will i be updating it to the latest version, but also will be losing all the jailbroken apps that i once had. Despite how much i didn't want to lose all the apps, i had to restore my phone as it was the only way that i would be able to remove the passcode lock.

And when i did, i was so freakin' happy! I could finally text people with my own number and not get anymore missed calls or messages. I was on cloud nine since the moment i unlocked my phone. I was sooooooooo happy to have my phone back.

Well, i've learnt my lesson. I will not change my passcode often, i will no be selfish with my phone as the whole reason why i had changed the passcode was to avoid my nasty brother from using it, and i will not.... I forgot what i was going to type. I just hope that i'll be able to get most of my apps back.

Okay, peace out.

New Year!

Happy New Year, babes! Yesterday was the last day of 2011 and today is the first day of 2012. Is it the end of the world? I sincerely hope not. Many say that this would be the last year Earth will act as home for us, the Homo Sapiens or what dumb people like me would call as 'humans'. Are what they're saying true?

IDK. Even if it is, so be it. I mean, if God thinks that the time has arrived for Him to cleanse the world and rid it of evil or whatever, then let him. As long as it's an act of Mother Nature, i would not disapprove, but if it turns out to be some stupid accident that was caused by stupid humans, I WOULD DISAPPROVE WHOLE HEARTEDLY, no doubt. What do i mean by that? Alright, i shall explain more thoroughly then.

If a massive asteroid hit Earth and destroy all living creatures in it, THAT is what we call an act of Mother Nature, y'know as in like it happened because of natural causes, not because of men. And if we all get killed by some virus created because of some failed bio-weapon project, then that is certainly not the work of Mother Nature, get it?

DON'T TELL ME THAT WOULDN'T HAPPEN. You don't know that. NO ONE DOES. I'm open up to any possibilities that lies in this world. Whether it does or does not happen, i just pray that God will forgive us. Human created the world that we live in now, and they can also easily destroy it.

Wow. I don't know why i just said that. Well, i am a very chaotic person and i've always been a negative Nancy. Anyways, it's New Year Day! Everyone should be having the time of their lives, and then we should all have a little time to recollect what has happened in the past year of 2011. The mistakes that we've made, the sins that we've committed and the paths that we took. Think back to all those happy and sad moments. Relive them again before you step into another day in the life of a new year. Hope that we won't make the same mistakes that we did, and try to make the most out of the days in the future.

Happy New Year.