Decisions, decisions

I was suppose to submit this in on Saturday but I got carried away with sleep. So, decisions. I've got a big one in my hands right now. Have you ever needed to choose between doing something you love and something you have to do no matter what? I'd like to call it decision of one's 'heart and duty'.

If yes, then it must've sucked or you. It's no doubt that I'm in that current situation. As most of you know, I'm having the 'big test' year. PMR. I should be studying my ass off and ignoring other things that have nothing to do with studies or might jeopardize it. Choosing studies is the right option.

What if I can't?

I'm an active member of my school's uniform body. Well actually, I'm now one of the cadet committees. Sec 3 students aren't supposed to though, cuz it's an important year to focus only on our studies, but because of a reason that I'm really lazy to tell, we have to. Tough luck.

My family have been pressuring me about my studies again. They repeat themselves over and over again 'how important this year is and I better focus on my studies and nothing else!' In other words, they just want me to choose, to make a decision. Don't they know I'm a major dilemma freak?! I'm terrible in decisions and now they're throwing this huge one right at me! How am I gonna settle for a decision? As they say, 'the big decisions in life are never easy'. Boy, are they ever so precise!

After debating and thinking it over for a long period of time, I came to the best answer that I could find, BALANCE. I promised myself to try and balance out everything, between my studies and uniform body. Of course studies are the more essential one here, but how can one let go of something one's so passionate about? Do we have to sacrifice in order to succeed?

Sadly, yes. But I'm not going to though. I would sacrifice my free time on studying and attempting on improving my grades, but if you're telling me to quit doing something that's keeping me a part of something I love, forget it. If I can balance it out, y'know do both at once and still succeed, I will not hesitate to try.

But if it turns out that I can't, I'll know when to pull the plug. Studies come first, no matter how much pain in the ass it is. Truth is, I'm not sure if I'm capable on balancing. I have super poor time management and whatever that has anything to do with managing.

I'll try though. Like till I die or something. I couldn't care less if my friends or even my own family doubt me, as long as my faith in me hasn't been shaken up, I'll keep trying, reaching beyond my own limits. I just hope that my family's gonna support me or try to understand at least. I have no intention on looking back to this year in the future and regretting I lived the year of 2012. No, I wouldn't want that. I hate taking things for granted, I hate having to say 'I shouldn't have done that', I hate having to wish that I should've done things differently.

And I do not want to get stuck in the past. So God, I pray for your guidance and forgiveness. Let this year be a little less rougher than it should be.

P.S a tragedy has stricken in my hometown. Some parts of my town have been hit by a flash flood due to the continual of raining and on the 6th of January, I think, two lives were lost. The lives of a 19 year old female student and a hardworking, male employee of a gas station were taken during the flood. The kind hearted, yet ill-fated employee who passed on attempting to save another life, the life of the poor girl who accidentally slipped and fell into into a drain which was filled with water. The strong current swept them away, killing both of them. Please join me and say a silent prayer to these poor souls. May they rest in peace.

Got My Phone Back!

Yes, i got my phone back! After so many weeks without the company of my dear phone, i've finally managed to revive it once again though it is now somewhat handicapped. On the night of 8th December 2011, i changed my phone's passcode out of anger. It was the night before i went away for a four-day camp.

When i returned four days later, which was on the 11th, i was shocked when i realized that i've forgotten my passcode. I mentally tortured myself as i could not gain access my phone without typing in the four-digit passcode. For days i tried to recollect the passcode number, but to no avail. I had this paper which was filled with God-knows-how-many four digit passcodes, but non of them worked. So, i tried manually removing the passcode using a program which can read my phone like a pen-drive, but failed. It was then i realized that i had to bring it into the phone shop to fix it, but that could only lead to one thing that i've been trying to avoid all along...LOSING ALL MY APPS.

You see, my phone's full with jailbroken apps, and if i restore it, not only will i be updating it to the latest version, but also will be losing all the jailbroken apps that i once had. Despite how much i didn't want to lose all the apps, i had to restore my phone as it was the only way that i would be able to remove the passcode lock.

And when i did, i was so freakin' happy! I could finally text people with my own number and not get anymore missed calls or messages. I was on cloud nine since the moment i unlocked my phone. I was sooooooooo happy to have my phone back.

Well, i've learnt my lesson. I will not change my passcode often, i will no be selfish with my phone as the whole reason why i had changed the passcode was to avoid my nasty brother from using it, and i will not.... I forgot what i was going to type. I just hope that i'll be able to get most of my apps back.

Okay, peace out.

New Year!

Happy New Year, babes! Yesterday was the last day of 2011 and today is the first day of 2012. Is it the end of the world? I sincerely hope not. Many say that this would be the last year Earth will act as home for us, the Homo Sapiens or what dumb people like me would call as 'humans'. Are what they're saying true?

IDK. Even if it is, so be it. I mean, if God thinks that the time has arrived for Him to cleanse the world and rid it of evil or whatever, then let him. As long as it's an act of Mother Nature, i would not disapprove, but if it turns out to be some stupid accident that was caused by stupid humans, I WOULD DISAPPROVE WHOLE HEARTEDLY, no doubt. What do i mean by that? Alright, i shall explain more thoroughly then.

If a massive asteroid hit Earth and destroy all living creatures in it, THAT is what we call an act of Mother Nature, y'know as in like it happened because of natural causes, not because of men. And if we all get killed by some virus created because of some failed bio-weapon project, then that is certainly not the work of Mother Nature, get it?

DON'T TELL ME THAT WOULDN'T HAPPEN. You don't know that. NO ONE DOES. I'm open up to any possibilities that lies in this world. Whether it does or does not happen, i just pray that God will forgive us. Human created the world that we live in now, and they can also easily destroy it.

Wow. I don't know why i just said that. Well, i am a very chaotic person and i've always been a negative Nancy. Anyways, it's New Year Day! Everyone should be having the time of their lives, and then we should all have a little time to recollect what has happened in the past year of 2011. The mistakes that we've made, the sins that we've committed and the paths that we took. Think back to all those happy and sad moments. Relive them again before you step into another day in the life of a new year. Hope that we won't make the same mistakes that we did, and try to make the most out of the days in the future.

Happy New Year.

Prayer Heard!

I've been praying really hard lately, and there are tonnes of reason why. First, my grades. Second, personal needs. Not exactly a lot, but well, i don't think that my prayers deserved to be heard, but now that it has been, i'm sooooo grateful!

If you've been keeping tabs on my absolutely boring blog, you'd know that i'm not what you'd call a, responsible, mature, hardworking and smart person. I'm more to the opposite of all that. The grades for my last term are rubbish. And since then, i've been trying really hard to get back on track. I pray a lot, and read a lot, though most of the time i get distracted and well, y'know lah. So, when i got the results for my end of the year exam, i was not disappointed at all. I improved. I got better results and i felt good. I knew that it was God who was looking after me, guiding me through my test. I thanked him, and of course continued praying for something else that i've been wanting since FOREVER.

I prayed for years that God would grant me a guitar. And well, I WAITED. WAITED FOR A LONG TIME. I prayed everyday and asked for this wish of mine to come true. And y'know what, after my exam, my grandma said that she'd get me a guitar! I was over the moon and was on cloud nine for a loooong time. And then, the moment came. Two days ago, which was a Sunday, my grandma bought me to Lepo Music Store and got me an acoustic guitar! Even though i have not the slightest idea on how to play it, but i can learn :D

And so, i got a sleek black one. StarSun's the brand. It was a beginner's guitar. It originally was a reddish-brown one, but then i asked for a switch to black one. I wanted a blue one, but there was only so many things a person can ask for. I came back home with a huge smile on my face, and the guitar in it's gig bag, strapped to my back. I was given two picks for free, one black colored and the other, rainbow-ish. I'm using the black one more often as it's sharper and i dunno, more comfy? I'm just happy that i got my guitar. I'm a lucky kid, and i know that :)

Thanks, God, for everything.

May you continue guiding me through life.

Exam's OVER

Hey, hey, hey :D exam has been over about a week ago and we still gotta go to school, which is absolutely pointless. What do we do at school? Anything BUT study. More than half of my class brought cards to play and the rest of it, well, they're either playing hand games or reading. I myself have been playing cards too at school. Hahaha

Anyways, i ditched school today because it would be a total bore. And then, i've been doing some thinking. I haven't exactly been doing my very best in my studies this year. So, i promised myself that next year, i'll toughen up and improve. My grandma has been pressuring me about the future, again. She asked me what field would i like to study when i graduate, and i was thinking 'i'm not even sure i would graduate'. Truth be told, i wanna study psychology. I love learning about how people, human's mind work, like what makes them do what they do. Those kinda things interest me lots. I guess this field is a bit related to criminology, and i love crime. Hahaha. And i won't mind studying about them.

But the problem is that these are not normal field. And they're not exactly an ideal field of study. I mean, what are the occupations that one who studies psychology can have? A psychologist, or a therapist? Those are the only ones. Also, a lecturer of psychology studies if you prefer. But, that's all. Because it's so limited, i don't think it's ideal for me to get into them. but i don't really want to study about law, business or biology, science or whatever. THEY BORE ME.

Aww man, what the hell am i supposed to do? I know i still have like tonnes of time, but i don't know. I guess i'm just worried. The future can't be planned. Argh, how much i hate surprises

Parents and Teachers Don't Meant To Co-exist

My school had a parent-teacher thing yesterday and mine was...not as disastrous as i had expected. See, every year after the first semester exam passed, parents have to come over to the school in order to retrieve report cards. And that also give teachers the chance to blab whatever they want to our parents. What they blab about, not all are true, and not all parents are smart enough to see through the act.

As usual, my grandma was the one who went instead of my very-very busy parents. Don't worry, i don't mind :D So, knowing my grandma, she dressed up for the 'big' day. I mean like really, really dressed up. It was as though she was dressing up for a wedding dinner or something high-class like. She had even put on her gigantic ear-rings. I asked why she'd wore what she was wearing and she answered, 'Would you prefer if i went in that half-quarter pants and black-faded-to-white tee and looking like an old hag who had just woken up from a nightmare?'

Yes, my grandma is just that awesome.

And, when i supported my grandma as we walk down the flight of stairs that leads us down to the school hall, she whispered to me, 'Haiya, I can walk by myself. I'm not that old so quit making me look that old.'

Grandma awesome strikes again!

So, when we reached my class, there were only one other people in line. We sat on the chairs that my class had wasted our energy and breath on to arrange it nicely for this day. We went up when it was our turn. My class teacher who is a Malay, was starting everything by telling grandma by position in class, which was not a good thing, because i got like 21 this time, over 40 smart-asses in my smart-ass class which my school had obviously accidentally put me in. Then, she started to talk about the subjects that had dropped, which was Chinese and History, both which i badly in. I dropped from an A to C in History. And for Chinese.... I DON'T EVEN WANNA START WITH CHINESE, NOT EVER. SO, after dragging on and on and on about God-knows-what for God-knows-how-long, my grandma finally made a move and stood up. And that was when i finally woke up from my 'sleep'.

As expected, grandma lectured me all the way to the hair salon about my grades. She got a couple of calls in between, but that didn't stop her from changing the subject. I had even tried turning on my rock music. She still didn't budge. Oh wells, at least i got my haircut in peace.

After that, blablablalblablablablablabla. Nothing else to say, so PEACE

Ain't Life Grand?

These few days have been a huge bore. School is well, school. Only less fun, more work. So, i ask, ain't life grand? I've got simply nothin' to do. Not one thing. And facing the wrath of boredom is really a terrible thing to do. It's killing me, literally.

I'm soooooo bored that i'm googling random stuffs and listening to whatver song that appears on the screen of my lappie. Tell me i'm amused and well-entertained. Since boredom has taken over most of my week's schedule, i've been trying to make up some new lyrics. Believe me, that is not an easy skill to master. I have no idea how people like Chris Daughtry or the band Simple Plan can come up with really, really amazing lyrics. I tried, FAILED.

Anyways, i just have to think of something else to write about then, other than...love songs? HAHA. Not funny...