Talentless

  I'm not very good at many things. I mean, I'd like to be but i don't think i've been blessed with the ability to do everything. I'm not sure if anyone is, but i know a lot of people who are capable of improving themselves to become a pro at what they do instead of just getting stuck, glued to the same spot for years and years. Yeah well, that's me. I'm super-glued to wherever my skills stand, if i have any. Over the years, i came to realize that i'm someone who can do many things once i'm given the chance to. Those things though, are usually sport-related. If i'm out to make myself feel a little better about myself, i'd include music stuff. I like to convince myself that i am somewhat of an ability to play musical instruments so that i don't feel so restricted to just sports. If i was a litter better at sports that i guess it would've been fine, but since i'm not because i'm just slightly above average. Like, very, extremely slightly. And where is it that very, extremely slightly above average gets you? Oh, that's right, no where.

  So, what does it matter if i can play twenty different sports and play thirty-two musical instruments but it turns out to be that i'm not very good in any of them? That i spend years watching people outgrow and outshine me? It matters very little to nothing. And that's how i feel, like i'm nothing. I feel like the world has a place for everybody but me. It's hard to fit in, it's hard to talk to and communicate with people and although i can do it, sometimes i drag it so much i wish i didn't have a mouth, or a head. Or a body. I just don't really want to be here at times and am i to blame? Ah yes, i guess i am.

  I just hope that there's really something out there for me, that will allow me to feel less useless and not-there. I hope that it's something worthwhile, and cool, and beautiful. And awesome. And beautiful. I'm a man of very limited vocabulary as you can see. Again, one of my non-talents. I write, speak better than a few people but there are about a million others who at least fifty levels above me in the language. Sigh, way to make yourself feel good about yourself. "I know I'm good for something, I just haven't found it yet." Mayday Parade of course, continues to sprinkle me with hope that there is still, hope. For me. Yeah, hope for me. God, haha, how the heck is it possible for me to be so pathetic?