Ugh this entire month has been a torture. My family and their drama have been eating me alive. You'd think as adults, they'd have the sense to not drag teenagers with unstable emotions due to what hormonal change into whatever shit they got themselves into. I mean yeah it's not wrong to tell family about your problems, but oh my god it's not like my eardrums are made of steel. They just keep going on and on and on and on about their problems and then they're crying and cursing. I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. Hello mom hello grandma, i'm a sixteen year old with problems too. I'm not exactly the free-est person in school i've got things to plan, shit to get done, and there you are, barging into my room which is the only place i can get peace and quiet and most importantly, my space, crying to me about how their lives suck right now. Well tell you what, LIFE IS SUCKY SO TAKE YOUR HEART2HEART SESSION SOMEWHERE ELSE. I'm not being mean or anything but i'm under a lot of pressure and stress (this is the part where you might scoff at but i'm serious) so when someone's about to crack up, you don't just throw all your complaints and gossips at them. We need space. I NEED MY SPACE and i need a drama-proof life. This entire month felt like one of those hokkien dramas that my aunt watches from morning till god knows when. I don't freaking need this. Do i ever complain to my mom or my grandma or to anyone else about my life, about the shit i'm in? NO I DO NOT. Maybe to my friends at times because somehow i can never shut up when i'm around them but NOT TO MY FAMILY BECAUSE I KNOW THEY HAVE THEIR OWN SHIT TO DEAL WITH SO I DON'T BURDEN THEM FURTHER WITH MINE, but do they have the consideration oF leaving me out of this web of drama? NO THEY FREAKING DON'T.
And that's not just it, my grandma, she needs to get that no one, not even the hardworking of the hardworking students study every freaking day. I never study and you expect me to suddenly study during every waking moment of mine? WHO STUDIES ON A SATURDAY AND SUNDAY NIGHT. WHO STUDIES THE AFTERNOON AFTER THEIR EXAM FINISHED WHO THE HELL DOES THAT. Example, last friday when my first term exam finished. I asked my grandma if i could hang with my friends at the local mall the day after and she said "why do you always wanna go out and have fun. Can't you just stay home and study like other people. What's wrong with you. You do know it's your future right? So can you grow up and do what's good for you?" And i replied "But my exam just finished today" Grandma said "So does that give you a reason to not study this afternoon?" OMG SERIOUSLY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUQ. I JUST FINISHED MY WEEK LONG EXAM AND YOU WON'T EVEN LET ME ENJOY ONE FREAKING AFTERNOON. AND IT'S NOT LIKE I GO OUT EVERY OTHER WEEKEND LIKE EVERYONE ELSE NO INSTEAD I STAY HOME BECAUSE MY FAMILY WON'T LET ME GO ANYWHERE ELSE OTHER THAN TO THE TUITION CENTER OR TO SCHOOL. AND WHEN MY FRIENDS ACTUALLY ASKED ME TO HANG OUT YOU TELL ME I GO OUT TOO MUCH THAT I DON'T STAY HOME ENOUGH THAT I ALWAYS WANNA HAVE FUN. WELL PEOPLE IF YOU HAD TAKEN OR LET ME OUT OF THE HOUSE MORE OFTEN THAN A COUPLE OF TIMES IN A MONTH MAYBE YOU WON'T BE HAVING THIS PROBLEM. Pssh i go out too much I'M SORRY YOUR FREAKING STATEMENT IS INVALID PLEASE TRY AGAIN. I'm just so pissed whenever i think of this. If this is not pressure than i don't know what is. Every time my grandma sees me around the house watching tv or reading my storybooks, she'll be all up in my ass saying "why aren't you studying and just wasting your time doing nothing. go study. it's for your own good" All she ever says to me nowadays is STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY.
And then there's another matter of my grandma being an utter douche-snozzle. You're my grandma, you wanna tell me the truth sure, but will you please let it go through the filter in your head first please? You don't just call your grandchildren ugly or fat or disappointing or i-don't-care-about-you-anymore-i-just-wanna-leave-and-see-what-you're-gonna-do-without-me. And the most hated line of all 'i could be anywhere i want to be but instead i chose to stay here because of you and your brother. if you guys are thankful and show appreciation to my help then it's fine, but to be treated like i'm so much less that your grandmother, i really don't see the point of me staying, sometimes i just wish i could leave and see what happens to you". I lost track of how many times she's used that shit of a line on me. I get it, i get it, you're oh so noble by choosing to stay with us instead of doing blableh. But ugh, don't they realize that we hurt too? Their words, even though sometimes they don't mean it, but it doesn't stop them from cutting right through our hearts. They just practically say what they wanna say, don't give shit about how we feel and be all like you fuqing deserve it. People wonder why are there so many messed-up teenagers in this world who's suicidal and have problems, well it's about time they realize that adults are to blame. If they weren't so simple minded, inconsiderate and selfish, we as teenagers wouldn't be going through as much shit as we do.
Don't love each other? Don't get married. Don't wanna get involved with each others' shit? Leave and never turn back. Don't cause pain to other people, especially kids because they DO NOT DESERVE THIS. What they deserve is a happy, innocent childhood filled with heart-warming memories. I just ugh, adults suck. Big time.
